A Different Twist

My dad died in 2010, and my mother died in 2023. I had not spoken to them since around 2009 when I sent an “I am not talking to you anymore” Goodbye letter. It was not mean; it just said I was done. I would not read their letters, listen to voicemails, or communicate with them. 

When Dad died, my sister called to give me the news. While he died in New Mexico, his body was shipped to Tucson, where the family plot is located. My sister encouraged me to attend the service there, but I declined. This did not make anyone happy except me. 

I had very little feeling about his passing. I had a clean ending, and I had no remorse or regrets. As it happened a few weeks after his burial, I was already scheduled to be in Tucson visiting friends. I shared with my friends what had happened, and they insisted I go to the gravesite. I reluctantly agreed. Once there and looking down on his grave, my only response was: One down, one to go. 

I was long past wasting any energy on anger or hatred. I stopped giving either of them the power to hurt or make me angry a long time before they passed. 

About eight years after my dad died, I had a psychic reading with a local guy on the Central Coast of California. Perhaps the most curious thing he told me from that reading was that my father had not crossed over and that I needed to assist him. This was quite a surprise to me, as I had no idea I could help him cross. 

I knew about some of my abilities, but this was early in my development. I meditated and asked Medicine Buddha for assistance, as I had no idea what to do. I focused on him and his spirit; the enlightened energies surrounding me handled the rest. 

Back in the beginning of my 19-year relationship with Reber, our therapist had a lesbian daughter still in High School. The daughter had a friend named Adam, who both felt needed healthy gay role models like us. Adam was half Pakistani and British and became a fixture in our lives. He was quite mentally ill and had been through so many different therapists, MDs, and every possible medication, and nothing seemed to help. He had made several suicide attempts and would disappear for weeks and months at a time. When we moved from Tucson to Northern CA, he followed us. He was a computer genius. We joked that he spoke DOS (the original Microsoft computer language) with a bit of broken English. 

A month after the 9/11 tragedy, Reber and I planned a trip to London, Scotland, and Paris for our birthdays, which were 26 hours apart. Adam was unhappy that we did not want him to accompany us to Great Britain. We wanted a romantic trip to Europe, which was the first visit for both of us. 

Once we got back, we did not hear from Adam, which was not unusual. A year or so before, he had rented an apartment from a friend. When the rent was not paid, my friend went by Adam’s apartment and found his body. I got a call from him, and he said Adam had killed himself. My only response was: So he finally succeeded. It was a sad day for both of us. I got the job of cleaning up his estate. Little did I know this would happen a lot in my life. 

Fast-forward to 2019, I lived in an apartment complex in Ventura, CA. The manager was a witch and kept telling me all these people were following me. One was a young man sitting alone at a kitchen table. He was waiting for me. This was news to me. I had no idea who she was talking about or why so many dead people were following me. 

I brought this up with my Buddhist mentor, who was incredibly clairvoyant. Her guidance was that I could assist people in crossing over, and they could tell I did, which was why they were following me. 

The young man at the table was Adam. I was able to help him cross over, but I was sad that he had been lost for so long. This was the beginning of my owning my ability to assist people in crossing over. I have been stunned at the number of people who don’t seem to cross over. Now and then, so many follow me that I must stop and assist them on their journey. 

In 2023, I went to Medellin, Columbia. While I was there, I could feel so many dead people, their spirits trapped, and I got the message that part of the reason I was there was to assist them in crossing over. At one time, this was the murder capital of the world, and the energy was painful. I went into a trance and created a vortex that became a portal for many souls to find peace. It was a profound experience, and it touched me deeply. 

I noticed one of the neighbors’ spirits in my unit in my apartment complex. His unit was across from me. I thought it was odd, but I didn’t understand why he was there. He just looked at me. A few weeks later, his body was found in his apartment. He was an alcoholic, and he had fallen when very drunk, hurt himself, and bled to death. I assisted him in crossing over. 

A friend moved into a new home, and she found the spirit of the disabled man who had lived there for many years and died there was still in the bedroom. This was typical of my process when I encountered someone who had passed but not crossed. I called in some Dakinis, and I introduced him to them. I said these lovely ladies would care for his needs, and he never had to worry about anything again. They put balloons on his wheelchair, and he floated off into the sky and was gone. My friend said he never returned, which I knew about, but I always appreciate confirmation. 

A friend of mine in Singapore asked me to help his client whose mother had died, and she was fearful that her mother had not crossed over. I got the name and some information and concurred that her mother had not crossed. My task is to understand what is stopping it from happening. In this case, it took me a few minutes to put it together. Her mother was deeply religious, and she refused to budge until she saw the angels welcoming her. I asked her daughter if her mother was stubborn. She said yes. I asked the Dakinis to assist in creating what she needed to see, and when they did, she was gone. It was very fast and easy. My last words to her daughter were that she was right to contact me. It was her last gift to her mother, and she did a great job assisting her mother in her journey.

My life has never been normal. I gave up on being normal long ago, but it is deeply rewarding if a bit unusual. I have many of these stories. I wrote my mother a letter shortly before her death. I told her that I would assist her in her crossing if necessary. No one should be wandering around lost; it is unnecessary. We need to do a better job of accurately preparing people for what is next. 

I have been surprised at the variety of people's experiences. There does not seem to be one path once you leave your body. Just as we all have different karma, life experiences, and religious programming, we have different experiences when we die.

Dakini: https://www.taramandala.org/teachings/what-is-a-dakini/